Letting Go of the Pressure to ‘Move On’
When we experience loss, we often feel an intense wave of emotions that can feel overwhelming. In those moments, we might hear well-meaning words like “It’s time to move on,” or “You’ll get over it soon.” While these words are often said with good intentions, they can add an unnecessary layer of pressure to something already difficult. The truth is, grief has no timeline.
🌿 Everyone Grieves Differently:
Grief is one of the most personal experiences we can go through. It doesn’t look the same for everyone, and that’s okay. Some people may find that their grief lasts a few months, while others may find themselves grieving for years. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to healing, and there’s no “right” way to grieve.
For some, grief comes in waves—some days, it might feel manageable, and other days, it might hit hard, leaving us feeling as if we’re right back where we started. And that’s perfectly normal. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule.
💔 The Pressure to ‘Move On’:
There’s often a societal expectation that we should heal quickly or “move on” after a loss. But the reality is, moving on doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending that everything is okay. Moving on doesn’t mean putting a timer on your grief and saying, “Okay, I should be better now.”
The pressure to “move on” can make us feel like something is wrong with us when we’re still grieving, even months or years later. But the truth is, grief is not a linear process. It’s okay to still feel sad, confused, or even angry long after the loss.
🌱 Letting Go of the Timetable:
Instead of focusing on when you should be “over it,” try to focus on how you’re feeling in the present moment. Ask yourself: How am I feeling today? What do I need to take care of myself right now?
Healing comes in its own time, and there’s no pressure to rush it. It’s okay to have moments of happiness while you’re still grieving. It’s also okay to have moments of sadness, anger, or even guilt. Let go of the idea that you need to reach a specific “end point” and embrace the journey of healing.
🌻 Healing in Your Own Time:
One of the most important things we can do when grieving is to be kind to ourselves. If you need to take a day to cry, take it. If you need to take time away from social activities or return to a memory, it’s okay. There is no “right” way to heal, only your way. Grief allows you to process emotions at your own pace, without the pressure of what others think or how they believe you should feel.
Grieving at your own pace also means you’ll feel more empowered. You’ll be honoring your unique journey, and that’s an essential part of emotional healing.
💡 How to Let Go of the Pressure to “Move On”:
- Give Yourself Permission to Feel: Grief is a complex emotion, and it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling, whether that’s sadness, frustration, or even numbness. Don’t judge yourself for how you feel.
- Set Boundaries with Well-Meaning Advice: Sometimes, others may offer advice about “moving on.” It’s important to set boundaries with those well-meaning comments. Politely remind them that you are healing in your own time and that you don’t need to rush.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Grief can sometimes feel like an overwhelming journey, but even small steps forward are progress. Celebrate the moments when you feel lighter, more at peace, or when you laugh after a long period of sadness.
- Honor Your Loved One in Your Own Way: Remembering your loved one doesn’t have a set timeframe. Find ways to honor their memory that feel meaningful to you. Whether it’s through rituals, writing, or simply reflecting on fond memories, these moments of connection are part of the healing process.
- Seek Support When Needed: If you feel stuck in your grief, talking to a therapist or joining a support group can help. Sometimes sharing your feelings with others who understand can offer comfort and perspective.
🌼 There Is No Rush in Healing:
Grief may always be a part of you, but it doesn’t mean you have to let it define you. The process of healing from loss is not about moving on; it’s about finding ways to live with the pain while still allowing yourself to heal and grow. Let go of the pressure to “move on,” and instead, embrace the idea that healing will happen in its own time. You are not behind, you are simply moving at your own pace.
“Healing doesn’t happen on a schedule. It’s a journey that unfolds at its own pace, and it’s okay to take all the time you need.” – A. Bansal